I'm grateful for...

I'm grateful for you kids. Before I update what new things you guys have been doing, I wanted to share a little bit about exactly how grateful I am for you.

It's mostly about the second half of my pregnancy with Senya.

It was the 19-week ultrasound. Daddy and I were so excited because we were going to find out whether it's a boy or girl. We were in the ultrasound room for an hour, we couldn't tell what all the images or measurements meant, and the technician didn't talk much--she just told us that it was a girl and went on measuring.

After the ultrasound, the technitian told us to wait at our doctor's office, and a few moments later the doctor came in to tell us that the nuchal fold (skin at the back of the neck) was thicker than the 'limit' of normalcy, and there's about a 1/100 chance that the baby will have down syndrome. He calmly asked us if we'd like to do further testing, which could mean just a blood test or amniocentesis. We chose to do blood test and drew blood right on the spot. The doctor asked us whether the result would affect the pregnancy (whether we'd want to terminate the pregnancy if the results came out positive), and both Daddy and I immediately said no.

It was a painful few weeks of waiting for the results. After I got home, I searched everything I could find on the internet. What the nuchal fold was, what the normal range was, what the chances are that the baby has a thicker than normal nuchal fold and still turned out normal, and worst case scenario, how other parents are raising children with down syndrome. While waiting for the blood test result, I also researched how accurate the result is, and came to the even more painful conclusion that it really wasn't very reliable at all...We had another ultrasound, and a third shortly before I gave birth. But they can't tell us anything conclusively, to put it in professional terms:"it's not a diagnostic tool."

So the test came back 1/5700, which was really very good odds. But I couldn't tell you how the shadow of my child having down syndrome hung behind every thought I had. And there was nothing I could do but wait. I could've chosen to do amniocentesis and put my mind at ease, but I didn't dare to risk the 1/200-1/400 chance of losing my baby. So I waited, and waited, and waited.

It all seem like distant memory now, but I still remember wondering how I never appreciated that Kai was a healthy boy. How blessed I was to have a child that eats well, sleeps well, and above all, learns well. I don't mean to say that if I had a child with down syndrome, I would love him/her any less--in fact, I was reading lots of information to prepare myself in case that was my destiny--but it would mean that life would be that much harder, and a lot different from what I'd imagined before.

So the day came. I laid on the operation table, heart racing a mile a minute (the drugs certainly doesn't help), and just minutes away from finding out. When the doctor started cutting my open though, I was oddly at ease. There was something comforting about seeing my baby for the first time, and I wasn't afraid anymore. The doctor was maneuvering around my skin and muscles, exclaiming from time to time 'Oh! She's a big baby!' 'Oooh, she's gonna be big!' It made me chuckle, and glad that I chose to have a C-section. Then suddenly the pressure was gone, Senya came out pink, plump, loud, and above all, healthy.

Senya, you became my little wonder. After you were born, I often held you and stared at you incredulously, simply amazed that you came out healthy and wonderful after all that worrying. I look at Kai though a new set of eyes... appreciating all the little things that he does that I over-looked before.

So that's a little part of my journey that I have never shared with anyone else. Daddy certainly knew, but I don't know to what extent. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say, and always know that I love both of you very much:)

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Now, the regular stuff~

Kai,

You are getting an attitude, little man! The past couple of weeks you have been bursting out from time to time "I don't want to ******** ANYMORE!" The stars could be replaced with 'eat', 'sleep', 'pee-pee'... and it really was for no apparent reason, because after the exclamation, you'd more often than not carrying on what you were doing before.

So we think that you are starting to realize that you 'may' have free agency, and are eager to start using it. So far, it hasn't been too hard to reason with you and let you know that 'free agency' doesn't include screaming.

The good thing is, you are developing other phrases of communicating too. You've been using '对不对？'in a lot of sentences, seeking reason and agreement. It's so dang cute when you ask me, '我把玩具捡起来就可以看电影了，对不对？' oh yeah, toy story 2 has been your new favorite.

Today you used '非常非常' for the first time while we were playing legos on the floor. You wanted a '非常非常大的树！' And after I helped you with making the big tree, you made a tower, put a small block behind the 'window' (it was a piece from the zoo collection, I think meant to be used as the zoo entrance), and said 'Rapunzel在高塔里面看一个非常非常大的树！' It's amazing that you still remember Rapunzel, because we've only seen that movie once :)


Senya,

You've got TWO teeth now! They seem to come out of nowhere, the one on the bottom right came in right before your 6-month mark, and the other one followed shortly after :) It's pretty cute to see them showing when you laugh.

You've been kindda finicky when it comes to eating solids. I've had some trouble to get you to eat after the first couple of tries; And a couple of days ago, you've finally mastered the art of opening your mouth when I feed you solids (though you stick out your tongue a little bit, it's rather silly-looking). It's such a relief for me--feeding you is that much easier and cleaner when you cooperate! I've wondered though if it has anything to do with the fact that your budding teeth are bothering you less now so you are more willing to eat.

Still no rolling over, but you are getting quite good at sitting. I think we'll switch you to your big car seat next week, because I might get some permanent damage to my back if I keep carrying your infant car seat...

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Daddy has been gone a LOT lately... there were times that I'm quite tired of handling you two on my own. But for the most part, you guys have been great:)

Until next time!

a month

So I'm not very good at this... I can't it's been a month since I've updated this blog! Time sure flies.

I was talking with Daddy the other day and realizing that Senya will soon be 6 months, and Kai turning 3! This year seems to be going by especially quick. We are following the weekly 'play date, book store, playdate, web cam session, library' so rigorously that it's now becoming easy as breathing (though a little boring as well)

Kai:

You've been talking so much! And you've been doing really well with both Chinese and English. Currently you are into character play :) You'd hold up your black bear and say '这是熊爸爸', then hold up your little white bear and say '这是熊宝宝'. Bear Daddy would hug Bear Baby; you take them both to bed with you, and make sure that Bear Baby gets hugs and kisses before going night night.

You've been paying attention to Daddy going to work as well. Because Daddy and Matt always ride their bikes to work together, I think now you have the idea that people always went to work with someone else. So you'd take your little animal figures, hold one yourself and give me one, and say '我们去上班吧。亲一个吧。' Then we'd make them fly in mid-air to 'work'. 

You've also been say things that melt our hearts. The other day Daddy had to leave to go to Scouts after dinner, and you told him 'Be careful Daddy, it's raining out there.' We didn't think that someone so little as you can link together 'bad weather' and 'caution'. That was so sweet.

You've also been doing better with your potty training... after I implemented the new method of spanking your bum if you have an accident... :) There was one day that I suspected you needed to pee, and kept asking you 'Do you need to go pee?' and you kept telling me no. After I asked you 4 or 5 times (in about an hour), you told me 'my pants are wet...' I called you over, and told you that because I've asked you many times and you didn't listen, you need to get your bum spanked (just one spank). I think your feelings got hurt because you've been really careful about going to the bathroom since then (though still got another one a few days later) Now whenever you need to go to the bathroom, you tell me '我的裤子没有湿！你不要打我的屁股！'... ...oh well, we'll fix that later :)

Senya:

You are cute. But you are not letting me sleep... You've been waking up twice a night for the past couple of weeks, and it's killing me! (oh there was one night a couple days ago that you slept for 8 hours straight, and that clogged my milk duct...) I've been seriously debating if I do have another baby, I'll just do formula to start with... (don't tell him/her that)

You still show no sign of wanting to roll over or crawl. But you've been getting quite good at bouncing yourself on the bouncer (bring both legs up and then drop them so you'd bounce really high). The bouncer is quickly falling apart under your weight though. I don't think Kai even learned how to bounce on it before he got too heavy :)

You are finally starting to like solids. I gave you apple sauce mixed with rice cereal on Sunday, and that was the first time you opened your mouth willingly and actually seemed like you really enjoyed it. I knew the key was sugar all along... You've had carrot for two days now, and though not as exciting as apple sauce, you seemed to be ok with it.

You still do your little toe fights... chew on your fingers three at a time... smile a lot... drool A LOT but still no teeth.

You love watching Kai as he plays around you, and offers your smile very generously (I don't think he notices most of the time though). If he's playing around you, you'd often get distracted even if you are eating, which is kind of annoying for me :)

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There has been an earthquake in Japan last week. And there was a nuclear reactor that was badly damaged by the tsunami that followed the earthquake. We are still anxiously waiting to see what will happen next, but so far situation seemed to be under control. I hope that the radiation will continue to stay under control so that we are not affected (I'm not too worried) :) so that's a little news update for ya!b

Love you both... and hopefully I'll remember to update more often!

It's been two weeks

I keep meaning to sit down and type something up, but just got swarmed with projects :)

Kai:
I made a little sun hat for Senya, and you got jealous :)
We've been talking about going to Mexico for a few weeks now, and it's finally looking like we are indeed gonna go one way or another. So I figured I'd better start preparing the things necessary for the trip (swim suits, water toys, etc).

I thought that a sun hat would be a cute thing to make for Senya. Sorry about the unfairness (is that a word?), but you know, it is more fun to dress a girl. So I looked up a pattern online, and through trial and error, made a sun hat (that's a little big) for Senya.

However, you seem to enjoy the hat much more than Senya does. You'd put it on your head and walk around, feeling so good about yourself. If I tell you that it's baby sister's hat, you'd get sad and insist that it's yours (it certainly fits you better than it fits her :))

So I thought, why not make you a hat too? It'd be much easier the second time around, I don't have to really adjust the pattern at all, just cut it slightly bigger. You were so excited when I took you to Joanne's to buy fabric! The hat is not done yet, but I promise you that it will be before we go to Mexico :)

New things you've done... frankly, I can't recall any. But a few days ago, Daddie took you to Costco with him when he got me some flowers. You saw him picking up flowers, and exclaimed: "Flowers!! Mommie LOVES flowers!" It made me laugh when Daddie came home and told me this, because I've never expressed my love for flowers (if I do have any) in front of you. So I wonder if you are just a natural romantic...? I can't wait to find out.

Senya,
I made you a little bubble sun dress... Don't tell your brother. It's much easier to make a dress vs. making a pair of shorts or a shirt... It's a little big for you now, but hopefully it'll fit you next year.

You are chubby as ever. Last Friday we took you to see the Dr. for your 4-month check-up, you weighed in at 18.5 lbs. A little smaller than your brother (he was 20 lbs at 4 months), but still a very respectable weight. You are happy as ever. No sign of wanting to roll over yet. Have a increasing love for your fingers (to chew on).

I gave you your first hair cut/trim today. You are getting little scabs on your head that is incredibly hard to get off. I'm trying to use oil and comb to get them off, but if it's not successful, you may get your head shaved too... Ok, you just woke up from your nap and screaming, I'd better to get you.

Till next time！

The first one

Dear Kai and Senya,

This blog is for you.

Mommie and Daddie do have another blog, but that one is mainly for our family and friends to keep track, and doesn't get updated very often. You guys are growing up so fast that I feel that I should keep a better record of all the new things that you are doing everyday... It's mostly for me, but maybe when you are older, you'd enjoy reading this too.

To start with Kai... You are almost 3 years old! I often look at you and can't believe that you are such a little person already. You talk (in both Chinese and English), you run, you jump, you can recognize letters and numbers... it's truly amazing to watch you grow.

A while ago (Christmas season), you got infatuated with the movie Cars. You knew so many lines from the movie, and you'd often recite them while playing with your toy cars. I first noticed it when you had your red Mac truck and Lightening McQueen. You'd start driving Mac forward, and use McQueen to chase him while yelling 'Wait! Mac! Wait!...' Then you moved onto memorizing the commercial that Lightening McQueen did for RustEze: 'Hi Lightening McQueen here, the new RustEze bumper ointment... ... ...you too, can look like me! Ka-chaw!' I can't tell you how hard your Dad and I laughed when we figured out what you were saying to yourself.

I got inspired by this, and decided that we need to catch up on your Chinese by letting you watch Disney movies in Chinese. We had a limited supply (all from Dad's mission), and your current favorite is Peter Pan. You watch it almost everyday, and are picking up phrases from it already. Two days ago you told me ‘妈妈，我准备好了！准备长大！’ (momma, I'm ready, ready to grow up!). Now when I wipe your face to get you ready for bed, you'd tell me '这么脏啊！' (I actually don't know the original line in English, but it's what Wendy said when she was wiping off Mike's face). And you'd cuddle me and say '我想念妈妈' (I miss my mommie...) I'm glad my plan is working, and am currently working on getting you more movies from China :)

Another thing you've been saying is 'EVER!' You attach this word to the end of a sentence whenever you can. Such as 'Momma, I get off my bed, EVER!' It makes me smile when you use it, because you say it with the most serious expression, and I have no clue where you'd picked it up.

Today when I was picking you up from your play date, another Mom was talking about when she should move her little boy Lucas to a big boy bed. She's afraid that moving him would interfere with his nap and debating what the best way to keep him in bed is. I boasted that you've been great since I transferred you to a big boy bed and haven't had any problems. And you showed me how wrong I was after we got home... I got you ready for your nap at 1：20, and you kicked around in your bed until 2:40 :) but I'm grateful that you did fall asleep after that... I treasure the little break I get while you are taking a nap :))

And now, Senya.

You are just the cutest little girl ever. There's no other words to describe you :) We loved your brother when he was your age too, and looking at the jumping, sword-swinging, energetic little boy he is now, it's sure easy to forget just how cuddly and adorable he was at your age too.

You sleep a lot less than Kai did when he was your age. Just this morning you woke up at 9:00, ate, and I took you to the store, you didn't fall asleep until around 11:00. Then you woke up at 11:30 when we got home, and finally took a short nap from 12:20 to 1:00... that just doesn't seem like enough sleep for a four-month-old! But you seem pretty content with how much sleep you are getting, and is a wonderful sleeper at night, so I guess to each their own!

Currently I'm suspecting that you must be getting a tooth. You drool runs like a river down the front of your shirt, and you are constantly chewing on your hand. I started giving you rice cereal a couple of days ago, and so far you seem to like it alright (not nearly as much as Kai loved it when he first started), and are trying to get the swallowing motion down.

You are a smiley baby. You give me a toothless grin every time I look at you, and can almost giggle when I tickle your ribs (it's something between a squeal and a grunt with a smile on), and I'm assuming that you enjoy being tickled...

You show no sign of rolling over yet, though you love to stand and sit up when we are holding you. Your thighs are quite a sight, and I can't wait to measure your weight at the next Doctor's appointment (in a week and half)

You look A LOT like Kai when he was your age. If one were to cover your eyes in pictures, it'd be hard to tell you guys apart! You've got my eyes, and I wonder what they'd look like when you grow up. I wouldn't mind if you continue to look like Kai, I think he's a very good-looking kid :))




Other than washing all the the wet underwear/pants, leaky poopy onesies and spit-up covered blankets, I'd say that I enjoy being your Mom very much. I love both of you so much!! Muah!